On stage he’s such a charmaboy… a ladiesman! He even drives a flashy BMW X5. The man even got sexy dimples. So what’s wrong with ‘Mr Resista?’ Why is he single, dateless and *ahem* desperate for love?
Lol! I’m not laughing! Ok I am laughing out loud and please don’t judge me! *yawn* Ok back to the dateless one. Let me break it down for him a bit…
1. LOSE THE GUT!
I don’t fucken care if you were “born fat“, the thick belly gotta go, pal! Please don’t give me the “Zulus eat meat 24/7 *including breakfast*” crap. That’s 100% pure bullshit… and you know it. From now on I wanna see more veggies, less meat and beer on your music videos. By the way this diet plan includes Bignuz and Dj Tira tira tira too. Fat bellies gotta go!
2. GET A DICK PUMP!
I don’t mean to be rude, punk, but yo dick is too small! Answer: dick pump! Of course it ain’t easy as a man pouring yo heart about the size of yo tiny dick, uya nthola? But if I were you I’d go to noeleen3talk and talk about it live on air. Real men talk about it. I hope the entire afrotainment crew especially bignuz will join you too! I hate seeing these hos exploiting you for cash. You deserve better! Just pump it big, punk!
3. STOP DANCING LIKE A FAG!
Wanna get laid, derango? Stop dancing like a fag. Period! Let Somizi jiggle the ass. She’s got nothing to lose! Rather lipsync on stage and tv. No chick will be caught dead dating a man who dances like a hoent bitch on heat.
You were warned!